Be selfless to selfish

Two alter egos were sitting in a park met after a long time. One of them was fortunately me.

Me: Hey dude! Is everything all right? Why my all-time nuisance creating buddy is so serine today?

Friend: Leave me alone (annoyed).This whole world is 'Selfish'.

Me: Correct (politely). But what's wrong in being selfish?

Friend: For the one whom we care the most disappoints the most. And the one whom you love the most hurts the most.

Me: It's not actually not being selfish my dear. It's just you expected a lot.

We Homo sapiens grow up learning the newton's 3 laws. Most of us forget the initial two. But maximum remember the third one. 'Every action has equal and opposite reaction'. And with this beautiful law we initiate raising our expectations. But this law on practical grounds is not as tenable as it is applicable on scientific grounds. Life is not just about theories, derivations, numerical. But it's much more. Not every student who studies for 18-20 hours regularly clears IAS exam. Not every war leads to peace.

Friend: It's really turning out frustrating for me.

Me: Calm down. You know the major reason of our frustration at maximum times is Expectation. If we aid someone, we expect the same from the guy some or other day. And if he is not able to do so we tag him with one of the most mis-interpreted word of the world 'selfish'. Without knowing his circumstances we set our mindsets and instead of fixing problem we give rise to another problem.

Friend: Oh c’mon! It's human nature. Why should we not expect?

Me: Nobody is selfish in this world. It's just how the needs and demands alter according to circumstances. Nobody can live isolated. Not even the Jainism saints who have although taken moksha but still urge to share and enlighten their thoughts. They wish to see the change. They do expect. But before expecting any change. Change yourself first. Expect from yourself rather than others.

Friend: Well that's true. But the word selfish means arrogance resulting into arrogance.

Me: This is exactly where we are mistaken my dear. The word selfish is not always a negative connotation as we perceive. To survive in this world we need to be selfish. Selfish like at least fulfilling our desires and working on our basic needs.

Friend: Yeah! True. It does sound interesting.

Me: One of the greatest ironies in life is before being social we need to be selfish first.  I hope you are not misinterpreting the term selfish now. Being selfish here means polishing yourselves, working on your forte by learning from others.

I remember one of the beautiful lines spoken by superstar Mr Shahrukh Khan that, do not engage in psychological talks until and unless you do not achieve anything (gyan tab tak na baato jab tak khud gyaani na ho jao).

Friend: So it's better to work on our grass first. Right?

Me: Oh yeah! Exactly. We cannot completely discard our expectations. But still we can minimize them. Maximum problems will soon get solved then and there itself.  Before being social be an achiever first. And when it comes to aid 'Be selfless to especially those who are selfish. By doing this you will definitely fall in love with yourselves. Concluding my words, stop complaining start living.

By - Purva Banthiya